Loss
by Dancingwind
Summary: When they started going to the same high school, Miaka and Taka felt a certain unexplained attraction toward each other, their love surpassing anything, but when they were caught in an act of something, their fates were jerked out of their hands...rr, if


Loss

It has always been his hands that I remember most distinctly. Long, strong, graceful; all the words in the world could not describe them. Whether on the court with the winning throw, in the classroom with the hardest math, or dancing over the black and white keys at his grand piano were pure perfection to my eyes.

I had first met Taka at the high school entrance exams. According to Japan's usual tradition, all middle school graduates who wish to enter the Yoshito High, A.K.A. the best high school in the large city Kyoto, must take the school's exams and receive high enough marks to be accepted. These took place in the middle of July; summer vacation had just started, but for these "brightest" kids in the city school was far from over.

I had always been the best my entire life, yet even for me the exams were intense. They hit me like a series of unexpected tornadoes, and left me stunned. The first half of the exams were finally over, and we were given ten minutes to relax; it was then, as I stood and stretched my aching muscles,that the guy sitting next to me spoke for the first time.

"Hi," he said.

In my panic, I hadn't taken note of my surroundings when I entered the room, and it was only then that I even realized he was there.

"oh, hi," I replied. I turned to see exactly to whom I was speaking and saw a boyish looking guy waving at me. He had hair like I would die to have, black and silky, just brushing his shoulders. His eyes were large and intelligent, and I immediately noticed his long graceful fingers.

"So how did you do?" he asked me, smiYuig.

"That was probably the hardest test I've ever taken," I admitted.

He chucked. "Agreed. I'm Taka, by the way."

"My name is Miaka."

"Well, hi." There was that smile again. We spent the five or six minutes left of our break time talking; I learned that he was the valedictorian at Atsumoto school, which was not so far away from my old school. We lived fairly close, too, and I was surprised that I had never seen him before.

The testing resumed, and I threw myself back into all the translations of the three thousand year old poetry. I didn't talk to Taka again that day. After the tests, I merely smiled at him before hurrying outside to meet my anxious parents.

The results were posted two weeks later; sure enough, I was in. My parents were much happier about it than I was, and immediately started preparing for my schooYuig.

The school was located 10 miles from the city borders, so I had the "privilege" of living in a dorm room. I would return home every weekend, though, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. When I showed up with all of my clothed, beddings, books, and CDs packed in two huge suitcases, I was actually rather impressed by the buildings; my old school was nothing compared with this. The campus consisted of the Education Buildings, Dorm areas, and the Recreation Center, the latter of which included a garden. The place even had a river crossing the grounds. I was excited.

Two hours later, I was all settled in my room, and my awesome parents only left me to get ready for my class orientation after a million and two hugs. Sitting in my new room, which was a plain matter but livened up by my posters and other junk, I was very happy. This was the first time I was actually out on my own.

Dressed in my little white sundress with cherries all over it, I made my way to my classroom, map in hand. I got lost and had to stop and ask for directions, but finally I was there. A lady with dark framed glasses waved me in; I assumed (correctly) that she was to be my new teacher.

"Find a seat," she said in a sharp voice. Nodding to her, I scanned the room, looking for a seat, and to my surprise a familiar boy waved at me. It was Taka.

"Hi!" I exclaimed. I was delighted to see him.

"So we meet again!" he replied, grinning. "And don't you look pretty!"

I blushed a bit as I sat down next to him. He looked nice, too, in a blue tee and jeans. His hair looked especially nice. I said as much.

"Ha ha, thanks. Do you always look at peoples' heads?" he asked humorously.

"Only when they have good hair!" I chirped.

"Ah-_hem_," the teacher cleared her throat to get our attention. "Welcome to the fifth class at the tenth grade1. I am Miss Seto, and I am your Japanese teacher..."

After the brief introduction, the teacher led us to interact with each other. Taka and I met several new people sitting around us, but we both felt tired after a while.

"This class is huge, isn't it?" I commented.

"Yeah... I heard half of us were admitted because of the exams, but the other half had to pay a lot to get in."

"Well, it's going to be interesting to see the two parts get along."

"Oh, yeah. It's so stuffy in here – you wanna go take a walk or something?"

"Sure," I replied. We stood up. I suddenly realized just how tall Taka was. At five-foot-three, I was average height for Japanese girls, but he was at least a head and a half taller than me at five-foot-eleven or so.

"Wow," I couldn't help but comment. He looked at me questioningly. "You really are tall."

"Well, you're short," he joked, patting me on the head like I was a little kid.

"Hey!" I protested. He laughed.

We walked along the river after getting an ice-cream cone at the center; there was plenty of light, so even though the sun was almost gone we could still see.

"So, what do you like to do?" Taka asked.

"I sing, I dance, I draw, I write, I eat, I sleep..." I went on like this for a few minutes.

"Wow, aren't you a talented little person?" He seemed impressed.

"Nah," I replied, shaking my head. "I just like doing them, that's all. What about you?"

"I play basketball, I play piano..."

"Really?" I interrupted. "I love piano! I'm not very good at it, though. You've gotta play for me someday."

"There's a piano at the center, why don't we go do that now?"

We walked back to the center and found the piano. It was a grand black piano; from the worn look, it was pretty old. I hit a few random keys and was surprised to find that it was almost perfectly tuned.

"Please." I bowed to Taka pretentiously, which made him chuckle. As soon as his fingers touched the keys, a series of furious notes began to flow. I didn't know what piece he was playing, but whatever it was, it was gorgeous. I closed my eyes, letting my imagination follow the music's lead.

Piece after piece after piece he played. I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually a teacher came and informed us that it was seven thirty and that the dorms closed at eight, so we should hurry up and leave. I was still half-daydreaming, but Taka led me out of the center.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm," he offered.

"You don't have to do that, I can – "

"I want to," he cut me off.

We were silent for a few moments. Then a thought struck me.

"Do you always play that loudly, that..." I trailed off, unable to think of the proper word.

"Furiously?" he suggested. "Not always. I do know a few mellower pieces, bit I'll never play them...not in front of you."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"You'll understand one day," he said softly, giving me a gentle look.

"One day? Why can't you tell me now?"

"Because...music is the purest form of magic, and you don't yet understand this – this magic." He changed the subject suddenly, and shortly after that we reached my dorm.

Turning to face him, I said, "Well, good night, then."

"Yeah, same to you. I'll come and get you at seven fifteen and we'll go get breakfast, okay?"

"I..." I started to protest, but suddenly I changed my mind. "Well, all right then – see you at seven fifteen!"

"Good night, and see you in the morning." He turned and walked away.

The first week of school passed by, and I came home on Friday. Thanks to Taka, getting used to the school and learning my way around was no big deal. I met new friends and ran into some old ones, including a girl called Yui who was my next-door neighbor and a former classmate. On the first day of school, Miss Seto had appointed Taka as the head of the class because he was "tall and handsome" like I teased him. As I got to know him better, he was even more outstanding than I thought. He was on the school basketball team, and was also very smart, especially at math. I had to ask him for help on homework twice. I went to the dance team tryout and made it, so when Taka delivered the winning shot of the first game of the season I was there to cheer for him. Every day we ate and walked to class together, and gradually we grew more and more comfortable with each other. Yui thought it fun to tease me about him, and I insisted that we were just friends; still, I knew there was something else between us. I just wasn't entirely sure what.

As I got ready for my first night in my own bed in a week, Dad yelled that there was someone on the telephone asking for me. I picked it up in my room.

"Hey, kid, how are you holding up without your bro?" It was Taka. He had titled himself as my older brother, as we were both only children, and I "needed someone to look after me."

"Just fine, if you can believe it," I replied.

"Well, don't have too much fun without me, and tell me if you have trouble with homework."

"You called just to laugh at my inability to do high school math?" I joked.

"No, just to listen to your voice," he admitted.

"Awww..." I pretended to be touched; it wasn't all play-acting, I realized. The door opened, and Mom came into my room.

"Uh, I gotta go. Bye!" I said hurriedly to Taka.

"'K, bye," he replied. I put down the phone and glanced up at my mom.

"Hi, Mom," I said in belated greeting.

"Daddy said it was a boy that called?"

"Who, Taka? Yeah, he's in my class."

"How did he get our number?"

"Uh...I gave it to him?"

"Miaka, didn't I tell you not to talk to boys? You should focus on your studying. Now don't go get pregnant – "

"Mother!" I exclaimed. "Taka is just my friend, like any other friend!"

"Except for the minor fact that he's a boy! Have you forgotten what happened the last time you became friends with a boy?"

_Oh, here we go, _I thought wearily. Mom was referring to Tasuki, a boy from middle school who had gone slightly crazy and started to stalk me. I swear, you get stalked once and you're never allowed to talk to boys again.

"Mom, I need to go to sleep."

"All right, but I just want what's best for you..."

"Good night, Mom," I said in a tired voice.

When I went back to the school on Sunday afternoon, Taka was already waiting by the front door of my dorm building.

"Had a good time?" he asked, grinning.

"The best," I replied with a smile of my own.

His face took on a mock-hurt look. "Without me?" I've never seen anyone pull off the puppy-look quite like he can. I hit him lightly on the forearm, and we both burst out laughing. That night we had dinner together as usual, and afterwards I went to watch him play basketball with his friends. Watching basketball was fun for me, as I was a big fan. Don't think that I was a tomboy, though – I had waist-long hair – too long, according to Miss Seto – and subscribed to Seventeen. I would almost go on the court to play with the guys, except they were all about five-ten and could mean serious injury to me. So instead I sat watching with the other girls, who were obviously very into the basketball players. Dating was a big no-no back in the day in Japan, so we were all just mutual friends.

"What exactly is going on between you and Taka?" Yui asked.

"Huh? What?" I asked. I hadn't been listening, so it took me a moment to realize what she'd asked. "Oh, nothing. We're just friends. Why?"

"Oh, come on, Miaka, we all saw how close you two are!" another girl exclaimed.

"Really, guys, we're just friends," I repeated matter-of-factly.

A month passed like this, and the Festival rolled around. According to the Yoshito High traditions, each class was supposed to rehearse a score. As the newly appointed Entertainment Coordinator, I went to work immediately. I was at a loss as what to do. We had about three weeks; most classes just made a choir and did some sort of traditional Japanese dance, but I wanted to do something entirely different. After locking myself in the dorm for three hours with a huge bag of chips, I hit on the idea of doing a scene from Gone with the Wind. It had been my favorite book, and I'd seen the movie eight hundred times. It was the perfect solution. When I ran it by Miss Seto, she hesitated, but in the end she agreed; of course, that was probably because I promised to do it entirely in English so that it would be "very educational."

Being the talled in the class. Taka was naturally selected to be Rhett, and as no on else quite had my knack for English, I was to be Scarlett. Miss Seto told us we were on our own, since she taught Japanese, not English.

For some reason Taka was extremely happy to be Rhett, and for the next two and a half weeks we practiced until we dropped. I dragged Taka around the local malls and costume stores for the perfect outfit, and finally I selected a simple white tux for him and an emerald green gown for myself. The scene we decided to act out was by no means my favorite (when Rhett proposed) because Miss Seto announced, "We will not kiss upon the stage of Yoshito High," but at least it wasn't the worst scene.

It was the night before the festival, and we were rehearsing one last time. The teacher in charge of the center had left and told us to lock up after rehearsing, as we were "both good kids, and I trust you," so we were left alone.

Exhausted by all the memorizing, I sat down heavily on the bench in front of the piano.

"This better get us some applause," I said to Taka as he sat next to me.

"It will. And if it doesn't, you certainly will in that dress." We were wearing the costumes for the play; my dress was cut simply, probably unlike Scarlett's, but it was as close as I could get.

I smiled appreciatively at Taka. "Well, thanks for getting me through this...will you play something for me?" I asked, gesturing at the piano. Taka nodded and pulled off his gloves (they were part of his costume).

As I expected, he played his usual style. I listened for five or six measures, but suddenly touched his forearm.

"What is it?" he asked worriedly.

"I...would you play something soft...just for me?"

He looked at me for a moment, a long moment, as if trying to decide something. But then he smiled, and lowered his hands back to the keys, and he began to play.

It was the most beautiful melody I'd ever heard. His long, graceful fingers stroked the keys as if they were the finest silk, flitting from octave to octave, never hesitating, never missing. We were devoured, consumed by the music. It connected us, just the two of us, together.

When the music died down, I found myself regretting that it was over.

Taka whispered into my ears:

_Music is the purest form of magic_.

Gently turning my face towards his, he pressed his lips against mine, his the kiss just as soft as the music.

"I love you, Miaka."

I fell into his arms, and he held me close.

"I love you too, Taka."

We must have fallen asleep then, because in the morning the custodian found us on the floor, Taka's arms around me and his jacket over my dress. We were sent to the principal's office as soon as we woke. Everything was a blur after that. I'm sure the principal yelled at us, but I don't remember it; all I remember was Taka repeating that he wouldn't admit to something we didn't do. Things looked bad; needless to say, we were both expelled and sent home without being allowed to see each other again. My mom cried at my seeming misfortune, blaming everything on Taka. I was never allowed to see him again. After the incident, I went into a period of depression, with Dad sighing about my forever-ruined record and future, and Mom frantically trying to get me to do a pregnancy test. A few months later, a card from Taka came, and I begged my parents to let me see it. It was a simple black card shaped like a piano, with a pair of hands just like Taka's on it. In the card, Taka explained that his father was sending him to a boarding school in Switzerland. He said he was very sorry about what happened, and that no matter what, he would always be like my big brother, even so far away.

I knew he wanted to say that little something on the card, but I also knew that he knew it would do nothing but get both of us in more trouble, so instead he only wrote, "Music is the purest form of magic."


End file.
